Drips

This place is full of my belongings..

But I don't feel like home

The blanket is tidy, the mattress is big enough for two..

But i'm cold and left alone

The car keys are at the top of the drawer of your make up and fake eye lashes shelf, they just lay there still silently judging me as i come undone.. Getting ready for my late night bath.. I'm sitting here like a sponge letting everything soaks.. Listening to the water flows through the shower..

I wish it was the smell of petrichor instead.. I'm sure it wasn't.. It was more like a dried tears hidden somewhere beneath some ingrown hairs....

As i said to myself.. Marriage is hard, marriage is hard.. It was still my choice to make.. And submitting myself with idea of not feeling lonely anymore.. On tv nights and whatnots.. It was still the best decision i've made.. Even if it kills me

But afterall, my journey was never easy and i made it through so far.. Though bones break, and sweat sweats, and laughter slowly fades..

And then i saw him.. And he was me, only older and wise.. He was me, only thinner and less bitter..

The ghost in front of me smirks..

The ghost of me.. The future me..

He said, "this too shall pass, i won't tell you how the story goes, but worry not, things are always hard and this time is not easy, but the lesson you'll take in the end pays all the debt of your recent sorrow and you'll step forth.."

It gets bitter and cold..

But if growing up is getting old, and being older is better, then i'll get better after..

Nothing changes except everything

And i will always love you, just the same.

The Reason I Like Why Star Wars

George Lucas' Star Wars epic space opera franchise could be the highlight of me growing up as a kid.
Why do I like the movies so much? well, I grew up watching the movies, literally.
I didn't get to hang a lot with my big brother without being bullied, he's 5 years older and that dude could be a pain in the ass sometimes. But I really looked up to him, I think he's a cool bro with cool friends I'd die to hung out with. But apparently, his friends don't have the same interest in Star Wars like we were.
So.. Why did we like it in the first place?
Well, our dad was a super busy father, you see. 
But we have this laserdisc player (also betacam & VHS) that we occasionally used to watch movies our Dad rent/bought.
If it wasn't because Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Back To The Future, we wouldn't get to hang that often and talk about the same thing we all grew fond of in our living room. It kinda made our living room, alive.
After years and hundreds of great movies we watched together, Star Wars is (are) still the one we talks about.

So, I thank George Lucas for that.
May the force be with you.